I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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