i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
