Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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