I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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