Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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