yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it was like eating out sand paper
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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