Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
pray to the hookup gods
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
