I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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