Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
