She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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