a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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