Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
