the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
