My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I supernannyed him into submission
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
