I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Say something about gay babies.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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