I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
