As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
