Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
