Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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