I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
