yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
