Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
