My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
