she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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