is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
