what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
