Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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