At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
