Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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