i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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