There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
