Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
