The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
