i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
