im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Randomize
