Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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