for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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