Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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