And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
