my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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