I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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