At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love accidental penises.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize