OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
