he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
