please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
