Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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