I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
