the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize