Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
