Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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