Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
