so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
