Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
