Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
