Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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