Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
