Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
