too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found your dick twin last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Randomize
